Good idea, bad idea

Do you remember watching Animaniacs as a kid?
I was always amused by the "good idea, bad idea" sketches. You know, like:
Good Idea: Playing the piccolo in a marching band.
Bad Idea: Playing the piano in a marching band.
Good Idea: Doing your own yard work.
Bad Idea: Doing your own dental work.

Well, we are starting a side business with a friend.
Here's our list of business ideas we think are a bad idea:
--A petting zoo with large predatory cats.
--"Super Skivvies" adult superhero-themed underwear.
--House flipping in this economy.
--Marketing "I heart Al Gore" bumper stickers in Texas or Utah.

So, after tabling those propositions, we decided to develop an on-line prep course for students taking the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT).
After law school, I taught LSAT classes for a large test prep company. There were strategies I thought were helpful & others I plugged with less genuine enthusiasm. I'm excited about the prospect of developing a course that is individualized, flexible, effective, and with any luck, somewhat profitable. We met with the friend we are teaming up with this week. Although this will be a tremendous amount of work, we are excited about the opportunity.

Good idea?

Lovable

I love this shot of my boys! They both look so much like their daddy. When we were in Indiana, a lady at church once told me, "I didn't realize who your husband was until I saw your baby." (I still chuckle about that!)
When I delivered James, we couldn't decide who's nose he had. But, we took some pictures and when I had them printed I couldn't believe I hadn't seen it before. He had his daddy's nose, just like my other cute, lovable boys.

Customized Bunk Bed

Since we live in a 2-bedroom townhouse, we have to be somewhat creative with our space. We designed a bunkbed that would fit our preschooler's smaller mattress. It's like a built-in loft bed.

My husband anchored the frame into the wall studs on both walls. Also, it's resting on the ladder itself for extra support away from the wall. I think he did a great job. It's nice because it doesn't take up as much room as a standard bunk & isn't too close to the ceiling fan because it is only a little higher than the chair rail. The foot of D's bed fits under it perpendicularly. The kids are thrilled with it! It leaves them a lot more floor space to play in their room.

We'll miss you Grandpa

My grandpa was a beekeeper.
He taught me that life is sweet.
Sometimes you get stung.
Even still, life is sweet.
We'll miss you Grandpa.

"The pain of grief is just as much as part of life as the joy of love.
It is, perhaps, the price we pay for love." -Collin Murray Parkes

Husband's Perspective

I thought I would record my perspective on all that is happening.

To say that this experience has be "a little hard" or "somewhat difficult" would be an understatement of epic proportions. The last several days have been arduous, mentally and physically. I hate to see my beloved wife suffer and I do all I can to comfort and help her; though there is only so much I can do. I am trying to meet the kids' needs while insulating them from the worst of this. Then, of course there is work, and more peripherally, church responsibilities. All while being unable to deny that I, too, have suffered a deep loss. The best analogy that I have come up with is that I feel like I am juggling three or four pieces of china (some obviously more valuable than others) while balancing on a high wire, and I can't remember if there is a net below. I have said to myself, on multiple occasions each day, "this s-ucks," (that one was for you, Don).

Despite these feelings, my family and I have been the recipients of some of the
most tender mercies imaginable. From quickly and powerfully answered prayers to the loving service of people who watch and play with my children, do my dishes, or simply and sincerely ask me, "how are you doing?" This experience has greatly strengthened my faith. I know my Savior has carried, and is carrying, my family and me through this.

Finally, to James, I am sorry that I never got to see you yawn, or feel your little hand close around my finger, or watch you take those first halting steps or watch you as father yourself. I hope someday, somehow, to be able to. But I am not sorry you came into my life. I am a better husband, a better father, and a better man for having you in my life, if only for a short time.
Rockabye Sweet Baby James.

Lessons on Love

I woke up early this morning & had a hard time going back to sleep, so I wrote this in my journal...

Lessons on Love

I had a baby yesterday
& felt the Love of the Lord
through the hugs,
shared tears,
& kind words
of those who love Him & love me.

I held my baby yesterday
& felt the Love of the Lord
through the depth of love I felt
for my sweet child.
And it did my heart good
to love him,
to hold him,
to name him,
and to wrap his tiny body with his perfect feet,
his beautiful hands, delicate face, & still heart
in the blanket I stitched with love just for him.

I lost my baby yesterday
& felt the Love of the Lord
through answered prayers-
comfort when we prayed for comfort,
healing when we prayed for healing,
help when we needed help,
& love when our hearts were breaking.

LOVE is a gift.

Post removed

I deleted our last post about expecting a baby because we are miscarrying. I'm 14 (almost 15) weeks along, but the heart is no longer beating & the baby's not growing. This is our 2nd miscarriage.
I'm just waiting for the body to release the pregnancy naturally & am hoping there are no complications that necessitate additional intervention. I started spotting lightly last night. I'm thankful for some time to process what's happening.
When doing research on the internet, it seems that we might be able to determine the gender when we see the baby. I sure hope so because I'd like to name the baby.
Our chosen names are:
Hope for a girl
James for a boy
Hope I like because we are sad, but we have hope- hope for another baby someday & hope that things happen because a loving Heavenly Father has a plan for our lives.
Baby James is inspired by a song called "Sweet Baby James". Our baby will never grow to be a Jimmy or a Jim, but will always be just "Sweet Baby James". The end of the song goes:

There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway
A song that they sing when they take to the sea
A song that they sing of their home in the sky
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep
But singing works just fine for me
Goodnight you moonlight ladies
Rock-a-bye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Won't you let me go down in my dreams
And rock-a-bye sweet baby James