FVL Pregnancy Blog

I have been doing a lot of research on the condition they diagnosed me with, Factor V Leiden. It's an inherited thrombophilia (propensity to form blood clots). We are fairly certain that's what has caused my losses. I think a lot about what I could have done differently with Hope. I wish I'd had testing done after we lost James last year. I wonder if the 15 lbs I've put on in the last few years incresed clot formation or perhaps it was made worse by the less-than-ideal diet I had while pregnant and selling our house/ helping hubby prep for the Feb. bar/ moving in March. (Life has been STRESSFUL!)

But, I can't change anything in the past. I have to remind myself that hindsight is 20/20. We did our best with the limited information we had at the time. I'm starting a blog about FVL in order to focus my efforts on searching out more information on the condition & making better decisions based on that.

We'd really like to have another baby. The Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist thinks that with daily injections of blood thinner, our chances are good of carrying to term. I've read that the medicine really stings & my stomach will be covered with bruises, so I'm not looking forward to that. But of course I'll take temporary physical pain over the lingering emotional heartache of losing a baby. YOU BET!

But, I'm afraid the joy of pregnancy might be gone for me. Last time, I was worried, but I REALLY felt like things were going to work out & I still enjoyed the pregnancy. Now I'm considered high risk & even if I make it to term with the baby, the delivery is more risky for me, and I could develop a life-threatening clot post-partum (that's actually the most dangerous time for the mother). I think when we get pregnant next it will be for the last time & I worry I won't even be able to savor it. How do you recapture the belief that "being pregnant" is the same as "EXPECTING a baby"?

Hope

Baby Hope
Delivered into God's hands March 14, 2011.
5 inches long - tiny, but perfect...
We will miss our little angel.

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I deleted our last post about expecting a baby because we are miscarrying. I'm 14 (almost 15) weeks along, but the heart is no longer beating & the baby's not growing. This is our 2nd miscarriage.
I'm just waiting for the body to release the pregnancy naturally & am hoping there are no complications that necessitate additional intervention. I started spotting lightly last night. I'm thankful for some time to process what's happening.
When doing research on the internet, it seems that we might be able to determine the gender when we see the baby. I sure hope so because I'd like to name the baby.
Our chosen names are:
Hope for a girl
James for a boy
Hope I like because we are sad, but we have hope- hope for another baby someday & hope that things happen because a loving Heavenly Father has a plan for our lives.
Baby James is inspired by a song called "Sweet Baby James". Our baby will never grow to be a Jimmy or a Jim, but will always be just "Sweet Baby James". The end of the song goes:

There's a song that they sing when they take to the highway
A song that they sing when they take to the sea
A song that they sing of their home in the sky
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep
But singing works just fine for me
Goodnight you moonlight ladies
Rock-a-bye sweet baby James
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose
Won't you let me go down in my dreams
And rock-a-bye sweet baby James