I have been doing a lot of research on the condition they diagnosed me with, Factor V Leiden. It's an inherited thrombophilia (propensity to form blood clots). We are fairly certain that's what has caused my losses. I think a lot about what I could have done differently with Hope. I wish I'd had testing done after we lost James last year. I wonder if the 15 lbs I've put on in the last few years incresed clot formation or perhaps it was made worse by the less-than-ideal diet I had while pregnant and selling our house/ helping hubby prep for the Feb. bar/ moving in March. (Life has been STRESSFUL!)
But, I can't change anything in the past. I have to remind myself that hindsight is 20/20. We did our best with the limited information we had at the time. I'm starting a blog about FVL in order to focus my efforts on searching out more information on the condition & making better decisions based on that.
We'd really like to have another baby. The Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist thinks that with daily injections of blood thinner, our chances are good of carrying to term. I've read that the medicine really stings & my stomach will be covered with bruises, so I'm not looking forward to that. But of course I'll take temporary physical pain over the lingering emotional heartache of losing a baby. YOU BET!
But, I'm afraid the joy of pregnancy might be gone for me. Last time, I was worried, but I REALLY felt like things were going to work out & I still enjoyed the pregnancy. Now I'm considered high risk & even if I make it to term with the baby, the delivery is more risky for me, and I could develop a life-threatening clot post-partum (that's actually the most dangerous time for the mother). I think when we get pregnant next it will be for the last time & I worry I won't even be able to savor it. How do you recapture the belief that "being pregnant" is the same as "EXPECTING a baby"?
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4 comments:
I am so glad you at least have some information to move forward with and can make some educated decisions. Good luck!
I really hope that everything will work out for you guys this next time. It's amazing what some women will do in order to have kids. It's crazy how many different trials are involved with having kids. There really are so many different ones. But it sounds like you guys are doing all you can do. We love you guys and wish you the best
I am glad you are keeping yourself informed, researching it out, and starting a blog. I know you are not alone with this and other women can benefit from your blog. Keep faith in knowing the Lord knows what He is doing, for whatever reasons, and will heal all wounds in time. (I try my best to remember this too!) Love you.
I am so glad you found out what is going on with your body. I am hoping for you.
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