Tuesday, November 10, 2009

NOT a pushover parent

I recently read this parenting book that critized parents who end their instructions with "OK?". Those parents were pushovers, the book asserted & need to just state their expectations, not make it seem like there is another option if the one the parent stated is not ok with the child.

Well, I say "OK" a lot. But, I don't think I'm a pushover. I don't say "OK" asking the child's permission. It's just that "OK" is quicker than saying, "I've now finished explaining my expectations, now please acknowledge that you heard and understood them."

Still, the doubts lingered... Afterall, I've never had my parenting philosophies published. Do my kids think I'm asking for acknowledgment or permission? Should I stop saying ok? Am I a pushover parent?

Yesterday morning, however, the 1st grader woke up early & headed downstairs. I explained, "the dishes in the dishwasher are clean, so you can get yourself a drink. Also, you can watch a video, but make sure the volume is low, OK?"

His response? "Yes, sir."

Thank you, child. Can I kiss you?! You just validated that I'm NOT a pushover parent. Now, let's see if we can teach you how to salute? ...

2 comments:

MyDonkeySix said...

Cute. I had read something similiar to that and had worried I too was one since I too follow my instructions with "okay". But I'm not. I know you're not a pushover. You're a good mom with good kids. Well, I can't vouch for the other two since I have never met them! ;)

Lempskies said...

Great tip from a friend of mine... end with:

"Got it?"

Same # of syllables, but more assertive connotation.